Over the last few years I've been repeatedly told that I am far too negative about the country in which I reside. I only bring up the negatives. I never dwell on the positives. I always paint such a bad picture about the country. So allow me to complete a 180 degree turn in regard to my "so called" attitude and highlight one of the better attributes that this country has, Carnival.
In fact let me take it a step further and market this event for the male gender. "My fellow men, if you have found yourself in a bit of a 'dry streak', finding it hard to close the proverbial 'deal' or experiencing difficulties in starting the 'negotiation' process. I suggest you take a trip to the shores of Trinidad and Tobago for the carnival season." If you can't get out of your slump here, then I guess it's just not meant to be. Bear with me while I explain how the Carnival season in Trinidad is pretty much a guarantee to break you out of the funk.
Carnival season is the time of year when women wear less and less clothes. What man alive wouldn't enjoy the spectacle of loosely clad women parading around the country? (OK don't answer that). I'm not just talking about Carnival Monday and Tuesday either when women parade around the streets in attire designed for the beach or the pool. Take a look at any form of social media that contains pictures of any carnival fete and you'll be guaranteed to see an abundance of female flesh. I'm talking about level cleavage and legs. Its almost as if short pants and revealing tops are a requirement. Pandora's "box" is definitely on view during this time and more often than not it's willing to be taken advantage of.
Not only are women walking around half naked, but they're intoxicated too. I'm not saying that those two factors combined are a definite invitation. (Disclaimer) But if you're in a slump it does increase your probability of scoring. We are all adults so we know it's not uncommon for a woman to make a decision that she may regret the morning after because she's had a little too much to drink. But please abide by the law. No still means no, no matter how much she's consumed.
So far the females are half naked and they've had a few drinks. So I know I've got your attention. But there is another piece to the puzzle that can help you clinch the deal. The music. Women absolutely positively loose themselves in the music. It just something about that "Soca" music that allows them to free all their inhibitions. Before you know it they are pushing it back on you, touching their toes and all that shit. They basically give you a scantily clad preview of what you could be getting if you position yourself appropriately and say the right thing when the fete is done.
So essentially the Carnival season provides you with scantily clad women who are intoxicated off the alcohol and the music and are willing to give you a little "whine"(sexually suggestive dance if you want to be politically correct). But wait there is more, say you get hungry, or you need to build up your strength or lay a little foundation for the alcohol that you are going to consume. No problem. The majority of the fetes are serving some sort of food. (No I'm not talking about easy chicks) I mean real food that you can eat. Barbecue chicken, curry duck, geera pork, pig tail, horse, wild meat, corn soup, anything you can think of. They call it an all -inclusive fete. So fellas book a flight if required, buy a couple tickets to some all inclusive fetes and kiss your slump good-bye. Carnival in Trinidad and Tobago guaranteed to work miracles when needed.
This blog was not sanctioned by the Ministry of Tourism of Trinidad and Tobago, but it should be!
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